Ken
Identifies as cis-het male (he/ him pronouns)
Lynne: What clothes make you feel most comfortable in your gender?
Ken: Suits. You know... I haven't been wearing suits to work lately, but I always definitely identified with a shirt and a tie and a power suit. And grooming. Although you wouldn't tell by now - but to the point, just like a woman would get her mani-pedi, I do that. I don't shave myself. I go to a straight razor barber. Been doing that since 1973... Good grooming. Just as I like that in a woman, I like that in men, and I identify myself with that.
Lynne: What gender roles do you feel can be exchanged?
Ken: All of them - Well, first you have to define gender roles. Take when I grew up. You know, the wife, the woman, stays at home. She’s the House Frau. She raises the kid. Well, for the first 5 years of my daughter's life, I was the House Frau, and I was the husband. Remember that term? I don't think they use that anymore. So, raising a child can be flip-flopped. Who is the breadwinner? Those can be flipped. Certainly, raising children, but maybe not having children. Probably not that. Other than those jobs that require super strength, the classic "Why women can't be firemen." Well, they can't carry 40 pounds of hose up a stairway. And even with that, technology makes a lighter hose... It'd be hard for me to think of a job that couldn't be switched by gender today.
Lynne: Can you tell me an experience in your life where you felt that you would be more comfortable as a girl, or in a girl's body, or in a girl’s role?
Ken: I've actually never thought of that... The art of seduction, the Femme Fatale. I wish I had that ability. I don't particularly see myself as a seductor, like in James Bond, you know. I've always thought women are just more seductive, and they know how to deal with romance in a way that I would say, “Wow.” Those attributes, or at least my perverted way of looking at them, the sort of perversions that one sees. I guess I look at them all pretty humorously. Wearing clothing? Now feminine clothing is feminine clothing, and male clothing is male clothing, and never the twain shall meet.
Lynne: How do you think you would react if your daughter came home one day and told you that she wanted to change genders? That she felt more comfortable in a male body?
Ken: I can tell you it wouldn't make a difference. She's my daughter. She was born a woman. Changed a lot of diapers to know that... But she is still my child. I don't want to say it's not a big deal. I’d be concerned as with any choice she makes. She tells me she wants to leave the country. I worry about safety. And it would be kind of like her coming and saying, “Daddy, I'm moving to California.” She makes her own choices, and if that's the choice she wants to make, I would be supportive. If she wanted me to help her in that transformation, I would do that. If not, it’s none of my business.
Lynne: The concept of gender has changed so much. We are no longer Donna Reed in the 1950s. Women changed roles. Your ex-wife is a strong, powerful woman. She is successful as far as her career. You guys were able to flip roles a lot. My feeling is that may have affected how you see things. What do you think the interest in gender reassignment is all about?
Ken: Oh, well, I'll challenge one thing you said. I study a lot of history. I love history. I think in the last 2000 years of recorded history, there were issues of gender flip-flopping, or whatever you want to call it. I think a lot of it just like in nature. A lot of it is Darwinism. We're organisms. We're mammals. In that, there are predilections to one sex or another. Some are hermaphrodites, some in the animal kingdom, some, you know, the seahorse carries the baby. The point is in culture. Let's not talk about plants and animals, but human beings, where this has been an issue. Culturally, I think in certain cultures, you got your head chopped off if you appear different from the orthodoxy. Other cultures, "Me ne frego” which is, “I don't give a damn.” Do what you want. There was more tolerance toward that. The big shift, at least in Northern Europe, and then filtering through England and America today, as a society we are making a stand that diversity is good. Right? Honoring someone's wishes, even if it's a minority. If there's a group out there that wants to reassign their gender, we ought not to hold them in contempt, or prejudice them, or criticize it. But, it’s still part of our national debate. How cool is that? Stuff that families and societies would bury? What did Oscar Wilde say, "The love that dare not speak its name", when he referred to homosexuality. And we've come a long way, baby. [We’re] not always successfully, but we have changed. So that's your life, and that's what makes you happy. You should be able to pursue it without the society around you making it illegal.
Ken: Suits. You know... I haven't been wearing suits to work lately, but I always definitely identified with a shirt and a tie and a power suit. And grooming. Although you wouldn't tell by now - but to the point, just like a woman would get her mani-pedi, I do that. I don't shave myself. I go to a straight razor barber. Been doing that since 1973... Good grooming. Just as I like that in a woman, I like that in men, and I identify myself with that.
Lynne: What gender roles do you feel can be exchanged?
Ken: All of them - Well, first you have to define gender roles. Take when I grew up. You know, the wife, the woman, stays at home. She’s the House Frau. She raises the kid. Well, for the first 5 years of my daughter's life, I was the House Frau, and I was the husband. Remember that term? I don't think they use that anymore. So, raising a child can be flip-flopped. Who is the breadwinner? Those can be flipped. Certainly, raising children, but maybe not having children. Probably not that. Other than those jobs that require super strength, the classic "Why women can't be firemen." Well, they can't carry 40 pounds of hose up a stairway. And even with that, technology makes a lighter hose... It'd be hard for me to think of a job that couldn't be switched by gender today.
Lynne: Can you tell me an experience in your life where you felt that you would be more comfortable as a girl, or in a girl's body, or in a girl’s role?
Ken: I've actually never thought of that... The art of seduction, the Femme Fatale. I wish I had that ability. I don't particularly see myself as a seductor, like in James Bond, you know. I've always thought women are just more seductive, and they know how to deal with romance in a way that I would say, “Wow.” Those attributes, or at least my perverted way of looking at them, the sort of perversions that one sees. I guess I look at them all pretty humorously. Wearing clothing? Now feminine clothing is feminine clothing, and male clothing is male clothing, and never the twain shall meet.
Lynne: How do you think you would react if your daughter came home one day and told you that she wanted to change genders? That she felt more comfortable in a male body?
Ken: I can tell you it wouldn't make a difference. She's my daughter. She was born a woman. Changed a lot of diapers to know that... But she is still my child. I don't want to say it's not a big deal. I’d be concerned as with any choice she makes. She tells me she wants to leave the country. I worry about safety. And it would be kind of like her coming and saying, “Daddy, I'm moving to California.” She makes her own choices, and if that's the choice she wants to make, I would be supportive. If she wanted me to help her in that transformation, I would do that. If not, it’s none of my business.
Lynne: The concept of gender has changed so much. We are no longer Donna Reed in the 1950s. Women changed roles. Your ex-wife is a strong, powerful woman. She is successful as far as her career. You guys were able to flip roles a lot. My feeling is that may have affected how you see things. What do you think the interest in gender reassignment is all about?
Ken: Oh, well, I'll challenge one thing you said. I study a lot of history. I love history. I think in the last 2000 years of recorded history, there were issues of gender flip-flopping, or whatever you want to call it. I think a lot of it just like in nature. A lot of it is Darwinism. We're organisms. We're mammals. In that, there are predilections to one sex or another. Some are hermaphrodites, some in the animal kingdom, some, you know, the seahorse carries the baby. The point is in culture. Let's not talk about plants and animals, but human beings, where this has been an issue. Culturally, I think in certain cultures, you got your head chopped off if you appear different from the orthodoxy. Other cultures, "Me ne frego” which is, “I don't give a damn.” Do what you want. There was more tolerance toward that. The big shift, at least in Northern Europe, and then filtering through England and America today, as a society we are making a stand that diversity is good. Right? Honoring someone's wishes, even if it's a minority. If there's a group out there that wants to reassign their gender, we ought not to hold them in contempt, or prejudice them, or criticize it. But, it’s still part of our national debate. How cool is that? Stuff that families and societies would bury? What did Oscar Wilde say, "The love that dare not speak its name", when he referred to homosexuality. And we've come a long way, baby. [We’re] not always successfully, but we have changed. So that's your life, and that's what makes you happy. You should be able to pursue it without the society around you making it illegal.